RobSwan.Com

Over two weeks ago I sent the inlay for Ange’s CD to be printed by Stress Free Print (stressfreeprint.co.uk). I’ve used them before and they seemed fairly good.

Unfortunately, not this time. The first proof was massively dark, the second lighter but totally the wrong colours. The third, little to no improvement over the second. Their was also a serious inconsistency between the first and second print on an A3 sheet being printed 2-up. How they managed to get things so utterly wrong is a bit of a mystery. Their internal communication when it came to sorting out the issue also seemed to be lacking rather significantly.

I was told by them: “Regrettably this is just a limitation of our digital printing methods. Really for a job like this - with vignetting - you need to be using a litho printer.”

Maybe I’m being naive, but I thought digital printing was very much at a stage where a 300dpi Photoshop PSD could be printed with relative accuracy. If not - then perhaps Stress Free Print shouldn’t advertise their services as such?

The inlay itself wasn’t that complicated- in fact it’s pretty much just a purple and black gradient background with text on top.

They’ve issued a refund, but it’s put the project back two weeks and definitely lost my custom.

Cheap? Yes. Any good? No, not really.

… I’ve just got in trouble because apparently a Google search for “Does Rob love Ange?” doesn’t yield the correct results.

Obviously; I do love Ange. But Google doesn’t realise it. It’s rather a failing on Google’s part, so hopefully a post littered with comments about how Rob loves Ange and how Ange loves Rob should help me convince “the Internet” that Rob does indeed love Ange.

For the record; I do love Ange. That’s why I asked her to marry me. The fact that she seems to think the fact that Google doesn’t agree is in any way a measure of my love for her is both faintly disturbing, mildly amusing and distinctly damaging with regards to my daily claim that I “build the Internet”.

So; just so Google (and everyone else) knows… I just want to reitterate: Rob Swan loves Ange Hardy more than Ange Hardy loves Rob Swan.

We’ll let my fairly sound knowledge of SEO determine the outcome of future Google searches on the topic of whether Rob Swan loves Ange more  than Ange Hardy loves Rob.

… because that’s what I did on the GPz this morning.

The first thing that’s important is that I’m (almost) absolutely fine. The second most important thing is that it wasn’t because I was being an idiot, I was just very unlucky.

It seems the secret to crashing a motorcycle and surviving with only bruising is quite simple:

Get in debt buying good safety gear. I may very well have to replace a helmet that I’m still paying off on finance, but it’s a lot better than having to replace my face.

This morning I low sided the GPz on the way into the work carpark at about 10mph. I say I low sided it, but a low side would have landed the bike on my left ankle and wrist. Instead after the rear wheel lost traction (it was a bit wet and going up hill, but I really don’t know why it went as seriously as it did - I’ve ridden that road every day for months on end) and as the bike started to fall it flipped back over landed (’smashed me into the floor under 200kg of bike’) me on my right ankle and wrist. I just about had time to yelp ’shi….’ before I hit the deck.

I’ve escaped with a very bruised and sprained ankle (it’s been x-rayed and given the all clear, but it still feels very broken) and a slightly bruised wrist. I left the hospital with no crutches. Most importantly for me - I escaped the incident with absolutely no loss of blood.

Visually there’s little damage to my clothing - half the leather’s gone from my right glove because I slid on it a good two meters, but my trousers and jacket have escaped the same treatment with only have a couple of light scuffs. Although my head didn’t hit the ground particularly hard there’s some fairly deep scratch marks around the chin guard on my Arai. I think an open face helmet would have been a slightly different story. Arai offer a free ultrasound service to check the integrity of their helmets after dropping it *cough*. I’ll take them up on that. My boots - which took the brunt of the fall - still look new.

Unfortunately, the GPz is a different matter. The brake lever snapped off, the key broke off in the ignition, the handle bars are bent, the wing mirror smashed, and various other bits of debris and petrol seemed to litter the floor where I was lying.

I know it was only a very low speed incident; but the damage that it caused to the bike is a testament to what it would have done if I hadn’t been fully kitted.

I’m feeling both very unlucky, and very lucky, at the same time today.