Rob's Blog

My identical voice twin
08th Oct 2006 00:10

Earlier tonight I received a unexpected phone call from Julia. Now as a general rule I'm a big fan of any phone conversation that doesn't start with “I need to ask a technical question...”. Unfortunately, 9 times out 10 there's at the very least a technical query appended to the end of a casual inquiry after my health. I suppose it's the price I pay for being 'such a useful friend'. One of these days I really am going to get myself a premium rate number and insist people call back on it. Julia: “I've just met a guy at a party” I immediately start wondering quite how drunk Julia might be. It's only half past eight, but it is a Saturday night after all. The decision as to whether this is a work call or a social call isn't yet determined, but I'm rather the pessimist when it comes to things like this. It's okay though, Julia's company is on a retainer so I can just effortlessly tick this off the time sheet if it's work related. Julia: “His names Rick” By this juncture I've worked out that Julia actually sound remarkably sober. I this is going to be a work call after all. I bet Rick needs me to make him a website. Julia: “I want you to talk to him” It's definitely a work related call. That was a rather forceful introduction but I figure 'what the heck' I suppose I've got nothing else to do while I sit around the house continuing to nurse my horrendous post-Friday hangover with the aid of a lovely Chilean Cabernet Sauvignon. Julia: “The thing is, I think he's your identical voice twin, and I just wondered if you thought so to!” Did she say what I think she said? Or does this Rick fellow want some sort of website made about identical twins? I mentally play back the conversation and try to decide if there was more drunkenness in her tone that I originally thought. Julia starts playing a recording of my voice back to me down the phone. I introduce myself as Rob. The tape recording of my voice introduces itself as Rick. There's some serious hi-tech trickery going on here. I continue to converse with the tape recording of my voice, and after exchanging pleasantries amidst the birth locations of both of our parents and a brief discussion about where we went to school I conclude that this is in actual fact not a recording. I'm speaking to my identical voice twin. I'm shocked in an entirely pleasant although outright dumbfounded manner. But then something Rick said scared me. Rick: “I bet I could cause havoc if I called your friends and pretended to be you!” That puts the fear of God into me. The Swan Empire is at such a potentially weak stage in its incubatory period that malicious meddling on this level could destroy me. Maybe I've been watching too much Neighbors but I'm convinced the threat from identical twins is substantial regardless of their specific sub genre. Perhaps I should invest in some kind of voice scrambler to go with that premium rate line. Obviously, it's hard to judge your own voice and Julia's sobriety was still at question. Rick suggested finding a mutual friend to call, but I was dubious about trying to explain the scenario to someone. Especially with a hangover, a glass of red, and a nagging fear that giving Rick the phone numbers of any of my acquaintances was tantamount to corporate suicide. Instead the chosen test was to both leave the same message on Julia's voicemail. Sadly they were clearly having a lot more fun at the party than I was having with my glass of Chilean hair-of-the-dog and the general level of background chatter somewhat biased the test. Perhaps it's best that identical voice twins are left out of the realms of scientific comparison, I should hate for us to end up caged in a zoo!