Rob's Blog
... who has Jack Bauer in his cell. Seriously, if I was pulling a nightshift and someone told me that Keifer Sutherland was about to show up for
a few nights at at her majesty's pleasure I'd probably go right ahead and resign there and then. Either that or I'd snap my own neck with my own bare hands just to save him the inconvenience.
It does make me wonder about 'extreme' method acting though. I mean, Keifer bankrolled something in excess of £10m last year by playing a hardened criminal. So giving the man 40 days real life experience of living behind bars - at the tax payers expense - somehow doesn't seem quite right. Surely Fox should be paying for all of his training?
I'm not a big fan of leniency on drink driving offences. Still, on the plus side I guess it's not my hard earned sterling that's paying for his incarceration over in the US of A. Still, I suppose the fact that he was whacked with a massive £245 (that's almost $500!) fine is of some consolation.
On the way to see David and Gemma's church in Whitebrook this week Ange introduced me to the Welsh word “cwtch” (pronounced 'kutch') which roughly translates as “a safe place” and is commonly used to mean either affectionate hugs or a cupboard under the stairs.
Apparently the word has it's origins in the same Middle English word that “couch” derives from. But the thing that really jumped out at me was hearing that one common use of “cwtch” is to say “the dog is cwtch in by the fire” meaning the dog is lazing in front of the fire.
It's not a word I've used since I moved from London, but surely “cwtch in” is the etymological root of “kotching”... hanging out with your mates in a safe place and lazing around? “Kotching”, or “having a kotch”, definitely seems to carry the same meaning of being in a safe place as "cwtch in" and "having a cwtch".
Most people have heard of China's one-child policy. It makes a certain amount of sense, I can definitely see some reasons to be concerned about the sustainability of an ever rising population on a planet that, well, isn't growing.
But Russia, it seems, has never been able to resist the urge to laugh in the face of the Chinese. For the past three years this week has seen '
family contact day' in Ulyanovsk. Brilliant - a national day celebrating the joys of unprotected sex.
Son: Mum, why am I here?
Mum: Well son, your Daddy wanted a new car.
Son: But Daddy doesn't have a car...
Mum: No son. You were late. And that's why you're going to work in the Army.
I'm not entirely sure that this is the worlds best idea, but it does have some elements of genius in it. I wonder how the UK would cope if we had a national family contact day.
Wife: I can't believe you had an affair on today of all days! It's family contact day - not skive off work and shag some whore day...
Husband: Would it make it any better if I told you it was your sister?
