Unfortunately, not this time. The first proof was massively dark, the second lighter but totally the wrong colours. The third, little to no improvement over the second. Their was also a serious inconsistency between the first and second print on an A3 sheet being printed 2-up. How they managed to get things so utterly wrong is a bit of a mystery. Their internal communication when it came to sorting out the issue also seemed to be lacking rather significantly.

I was told by them: “Regrettably this is just a limitation of our digital printing methods. Really for a job like this - with vignetting - you need to be using a litho printer.”

Maybe I’m being naive, but I thought digital printing was very much at a stage where a 300dpi Photoshop PSD could be printed with relative accuracy. If not - then perhaps Stress Free Print shouldn’t advertise their services as such?

The inlay itself wasn’t that complicated- in fact it’s pretty much just a purple and black gradient background with text on top.

They’ve issued a refund, but it’s put the project back two weeks and definitely lost my custom.

Cheap? Yes. Any good? No, not really.

Obviously; I do love Ange. But Google doesn’t realise it. It’s rather a failing on Google’s part, so hopefully a post littered with comments about how Rob loves Ange and how Ange loves Rob should help me convince “the Internet” that Rob does indeed love Ange.

For the record; I do love Ange. That’s why I asked her to marry me. The fact that she seems to think the fact that Google doesn’t agree is in any way a measure of my love for her is both faintly disturbing, mildly amusing and distinctly damaging with regards to my daily claim that I “build the Internet”.

So; just so Google (and everyone else) knows… I just want to reitterate: Rob Swan loves Ange Hardy more than Ange Hardy loves Rob Swan.

We’ll let my fairly sound knowledge of SEO determine the outcome of future Google searches on the topic of whether Rob Swan loves Ange more  than Ange Hardy loves Rob.

The first thing that’s important is that I’m (almost) absolutely fine. The second most important thing is that it wasn’t because I was being an idiot, I was just very unlucky.

It seems the secret to crashing a motorcycle and surviving with only bruising is quite simple:

Get in debt buying good safety gear. I may very well have to replace a helmet that I’m still paying off on finance, but it’s a lot better than having to replace my face.

This morning I low sided the GPz on the way into the work carpark at about 10mph. I say I low sided it, but a low side would have landed the bike on my left ankle and wrist. Instead after the rear wheel lost traction (it was a bit wet and going up hill, but I really don’t know why it went as seriously as it did - I’ve ridden that road every day for months on end) and as the bike started to fall it flipped back over landed (’smashed me into the floor under 200kg of bike’) me on my right ankle and wrist. I just about had time to yelp ’shi….’ before I hit the deck.

I’ve escaped with a very bruised and sprained ankle (it’s been x-rayed and given the all clear, but it still feels very broken) and a slightly bruised wrist. I left the hospital with no crutches. Most importantly for me - I escaped the incident with absolutely no loss of blood.

Visually there’s little damage to my clothing - half the leather’s gone from my right glove because I slid on it a good two meters, but my trousers and jacket have escaped the same treatment with only have a couple of light scuffs. Although my head didn’t hit the ground particularly hard there’s some fairly deep scratch marks around the chin guard on my Arai. I think an open face helmet would have been a slightly different story. Arai offer a free ultrasound service to check the integrity of their helmets after dropping it *cough*. I’ll take them up on that. My boots - which took the brunt of the fall - still look new.

Unfortunately, the GPz is a different matter. The brake lever snapped off, the key broke off in the ignition, the handle bars are bent, the wing mirror smashed, and various other bits of debris and petrol seemed to litter the floor where I was lying.

I know it was only a very low speed incident; but the damage that it caused to the bike is a testament to what it would have done if I hadn’t been fully kitted.

I’m feeling both very unlucky, and very lucky, at the same time today.

You can listen live here:

http://www.10radio.2md.co.uk/index.php?page=Listen

… or maybe it’s because it looks amazing and it’s fast as f**k.

Whatever the reason I found myself test riding a 2008 Yamaha FZ6 S2 at lunch time today. It’s basically a slightly more sensibly tuned and geared R6 engine in a naked chassis. With 0% finance it’s only £109 a month OTR, which makes it genuinely affordable (in a “we really don’t have enough money but we’ll survive anyway” sort of a way).

It’s only 50cc larger than the GPz, but it’s got 25 years of technological advances on it’s side and almost twice the horse power at the rear wheel. The only thing that slightly puts me off is the audible whine of the fuel injection at low speeds and a feeling of treachery towards Kawasaki…

I’m tempted. I’m very, very tempted… is this a good idea or not…?

Anyone who hasn’t noticed or had access to my Facebook status, I proposed to Ange last night (and she said yes!).

Regardless of the practicalities we’ve set the date for 5th September 2009. I say that; but it transpires Ange has planned every aspect of the wedding out already anyway. No word of a lie she’s on the phone right now discussing table centre pieces.

For anyone who wants a bit more of a background on the proposal:

I’ve been trying to do it for months. But just not been able to work my way around the practicalities of it. Tradition dictates I’m supposed to spend two months salary on a ring; but how do I do that when we’re living on the breadline and my salary goes into our join account? Then there was the issue of timing; everyone else seemed to be getting married and I was trying to find a window where it wasn’t inappropriate, wasn’t expected or pressured, but was still romantic enough to live up to expectations…

This weekend was Liz and Andy’s wedding, following hot on the heels of David and Gems. I spent most of the morning listening to Andy talking about how he knew Liz was the one and how happy he was. It made be realize that trying to wait for the perfect moment meant I was going to keep on moving the goalposts of expectation and never ask. Or, even worse, end up trying too hard.

It came up in conversation later than evening that (and I quote Ange) “if you proposed with one of those penny-sweet rings I’d be happy”… and (after gaining the required permissions) whilst toasting the bride and groom I found myself on one knee with a ring made from ribbon.

It was absolutely perfect.

The ring will be replaced as soon as we can find something together; but the date is set, I get to call Ange my fiancé, and she gets to talk about our wedding as much as she wants.

So we’re off to watch the World Superbike Championships at Donnington Park to celebrate

On Saturday we moved out of the flat in Taunton, and into our wonderfully amazing house in a picturesque village in the countryside. The process of the swap has landed us with:

• friendly neighbours who won’t steal the sparkplugs from my motorbike
• a huge back garden with room for a shed, green house, vegetable patch and rockery…
• utility room with plumbing so we have space in the kitchen for a dishwasher
• a seperate living room and dining room
• … space to breathe …
• an enormous bedroom so we actually have room for Ange’s studio
• real coal burning fires throughout… and a coal store.
• a water heater capable of drawing more than one bath a day
• a loft that the previous tennants actually emptied out
• our very own large front lawn
• stairs! (okay, it was only Amy who really cared about them)
• views of fields, horses and hills
• proper back door with a cat flap
• a proper local country pub
• less than a 15 minute ride to the office

… reading back through that list it’s strange to see some of the things that make a difference. But I still think it was a ridiculously benificial swap!

In the mean time, I am writing about how good Ange’s music is sounding:

Cry with Me - Ange Hardy (feat. Tom Spademan, and Kelly Craven)

Personally I prefer her acousitc roots, but this isn’t half bad!

… but now I’ve added two cars to that list in as many weeks.

Being a 2-car 1-motorbike family seemed rather excessive and slightly prompted by my annoyance at loosing all of my no claims bonuses following a bump (still can’t believe she claimed!) at some traffic lights we decided that Tracy (Ange’s 1.6 litre Toyota Carina) should be the family car.

A few weeks ago Percy the Polo was returned full-circle back to David and I started driving Tracy. Oh the joys of a sunroof, windows that work, power steering, a fifth gear and proper brakes!

But it still wasn’t ours. There wasn’t enough Rob ‘n’ Ange about it. So, we’ve just brought ourselves a little Rover 214 Si. It’s smaller, lighter, a lot younger and less battered, and should be a lot more fuel efficient. Adding a remote-control engine immobilizer, electric windows, CD player and a tachometer to my list of new car gadgets to play with…. ruddy brilliant!

In more annoying news, I got some new bike tires (Avon Road Riders) fitted on Gabz last week. They were amazing. She felt like an entirely different bike. I was very excited. Then one of them went flat overnight. Pants.